I witnessed mile after strip mall infested mile to the hotel, to town, to the airport, and in between, I witnessed these:
- FLAT. F. L. A. T. - A speed bump might be considered a mountain in Houston.
- Christmas pics with pets… I’m not kidding. Dogs and cats are food in parts of the country where I live…
- Beautiful green precision cut lawns. New, just poured? sidewalks everywhere, and not a pedestrian in sight.
- In fact, on my solemn walk, I found out the hard way that not only are pedestrians NOT given the right of way, they are not given ANY way! There were NO pedestrian crossings at the traffic lights!
- I was confused with a Mexican (no doubt) as I WALKED (OMG, unheard of) – as young Mexicanos in pimped up cars slowed down, base thumping, to chat me up in Spanish… are you serious?
- Jack in the box
- Did I mention strip malls?
- Chili’s
- Nail salons (in strip malls)
- McDonald’s – no seriously. Every 2 blocks. In between the Jack in the Boxes…
- Drive-thru Pharmacies.
- Baby back ribs – like the kind on the Flintstones - massive. YUM!
- Bumpits – for big Texas hair – as seen on TV. This is SOOO Texas stereotype! C’mon people, we need to work at breaking these down, not fulfilling them to the letter… sigh.
- Muslim American military doctor goes postal… kills 13? He’d just been promoted and was headed to Afganistan to help Muslim Americans with their conflicting feelings… This was big news during my 3 day stay. Only in America.
- Restaurant motto on massive sign board – “Walk in – Roll out”
- Sheriff/police eat free policy at all conferences, including ours – Offshore Communications… and they did! Just waddled in, sat down at sponsored event lunches, (at reserved tables), and then waddled out. Wow. Wonder if this is listed in the perks of the job?
- Street names: Beauregard, Rip Van Winkle, Mossycup, Overcup, Broken Bough, Broken Arrow…
You gotta love Houston… or not. In my case, I think there will be no love lost from either side if I don’t make it back…
What I gained from the experience? 3 pounds.
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